Sunday, November 30, 2008

When The Lights Go Down

The circus begins. Corteo. It was a wonderful experience. The feeling of sublimation will keep me on my toes for a long time at least for a month. I will remember the performance forever. I have never thought the circus can be so exciting. I always used to love opera and ballet. I was sitting with my mouth opened and sometimes eyes closed when acrobats were jumping with the ropes. There are not enough words to describe how great it was.

One of the exciting moments was when my love held my hand and whispered that he loves me into my ears. Each performance of acrobats was telling a love story. When a ladder dancer was balancing himself on a two legged ladder trying to reach for the angel who was watching him from above, isn’t that love? Finally he reaches her and she takes him with herself to heaven.

Giant, little people, mysterious village people come to the Dead Clown’s funeral. His four former loves in life dance on the chandeliers that hang above his bed. The dance is graceful and full of love. Or is it me who sees love everywhere? At least next to me.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

How To Find Love When You Are Sick

Here I am with my stuffy nose and big head looking for some humanity from people in white gowns. “It’s a bacterial influenza and if you take these antibiotics and do all my orders- you’re going to be fine in just a week.” He prescribed four tablets for me to take. Only four tablets which I will have to take two days. Are you kidding me?! I’ve been sick almost two weeks and that is all you can give me?! Four tablets.

I was very confused and I guess I wanted some more attention rather than just a piece of paper. Some would say it’s not the right time to flirt when you are having the flu and don’t really fully understand what is going on. Not me. I take total responsibility for my actions committed in Jackson hospital in Miami on these cold stuffy evenings. I went there during the day, of course. Just wanted to make it look more romantic.

This young doctor was from Cyprus and surprisingly knew a lot about my culture and country. Hard to be sweet and flirt in my condition but you have to do whatever it takes to find your love or just a date for next Friday evening. “Oh, really? I don’t think so. I’ve been so sick that antibiotics are not the only thing I need to get better at the moment.”

Then you don’t have to do anything but watch. Don’t stare at him with those red, blurry eyes- try to make them at least a little bit sexy. He said he has to go and check his schedule and was back in less than one minute. He said Friday he was working the night shift but Saturday evening he was absolutely free. “Well, I guess it worked for me.”, I said slowly. Since it was Thursday I had two days to get better taking those pills he gave me. Two days exactly.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Pioneers Of Online Dating

With the boom of online dating in the 90s I didn’t stay aside of the picture. I had to find a virtual boyfriend, date him, fall in love with him and marry him. Anyway, it wasn’t that hard. I posted my picture and wrote some basics about me and started receiving letters from members of the opposite sex. One of the two keys to get a lot of responses as I learned was to take a good picture with a smiling face and write good and positive things about yourself. I just couldn’t remember any negative things about myself. At least at that moment. Who cares, good impression was my priority. Anyway, I met a very sweet guy from Turkey, who originally was from Kazakhstan

He was doing his Masters there and was missing his home, friends and needed a nice girl like me to talk to on a lonely evening. We exchanged letters almost every day, chatted on weekends and he used to call me every two weeks. After six months we knew each other better than my friends I have spent years with. He wrote about his love in a poem I still keep in my mind. Sweet seventeen…

A year passes by and he visits me in my country during his summer vacation. It was my most romantic date I ever had. Until now. Are all women like this or only me? I say that one day I’ll be eighty something and sitting on my terrace and watching the sunset and remembering my most romantic date I have ever had.

My city. I didn’t recognize it, I just couldn’t. I was flying on the same streets I used to take a walk on. I couldn’t consume any food, I had to chew it and I didn’t have time for that. I was just sipping juice. And love. Those two things kept me on my feet or wings. The rose he gave me was the most tender thing my lips ever touched. Oh, about lips. The kiss he gave me made me lose my consciousness and the law of gravity wasn’t working on me. There is at least one man in each woman’s life that she regrets letting go of. He is the one in mine. When it was just too much of happiness I just couldn’t take it and maybe will think about it sitting on my terrace years later.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Keys To Successful Relationship

Love. It can be the reason you are in relationship, but it also can be one of the reasons of breaking up. How come? Easily. The consequences of love are tremendous and devastating. Jealousy is the biggest reason of dramas, tragedies and sometimes even divorce. To keep love and be in happy, peaceful and successful relationship I just decided to share with my experience. However, not so many people learn from other’s mistakes, in order to learn and remember you have to make that mistake yourself. Still I hope there are really smart people who will think twice and remember my tips before doing or saying something that could cause irreversible effects and hurt loved one’s heart.

1. Give space to each other. It will help to keep the feeling of missing each other all the time.
2. Do not forget to thank him/her for the things they do for you or towards the relationship and well being of two of you.
3. Pay attention to details. Perfection is not achievable goal, but we are not pursuing it. Just as making sure that he has hot coffee while he is working or she has her favourite chocolate in one of the kitchen drawers is a big deal.
Love itself builds on non-forgettable details. So let’s work on it.
4. Distinguish roles in your relationship. Let him be a man and enjoy being woman yourself. Or other way around. Being a woman has it’s own advantages and every woman discovers it around the age of 14-16. Some women forget about that and start to control a man, which doesn’t lead anywhere. When men try to control, I just say simple “Ok”, let him enjoy his patriarchal role and do my own way. And everybody is happy.
5. Always be honest. Trust him/her and do not let other people to get involved in your personal life and ruin it. If you stop trusting him/her try to talk or move on. Just be honest with yourself first.
6. Respect each other. His/her friends, family and their lifestyle.
7. Money issue is one of the biggest cause of conflicts. The ways how person spends the money he has earned can gain him respect or contrary. Unfortunately we live in a materialistic world and everything costs money,

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

How To Spend Thanksgiving If You Are Alone

The reason we celebrate Thanksgiving goes back to the ship “Mayflower” and the people who came on it. I came to this country two years ago on a British airways plane. I bet tickets at the time of the Mayflower were much cheaper than British airline’s. Anyway, since I live here now I feel I’m obliged to celebrate Thanksgiving. I have my own stuff to thank god for such as the people in my life but the problem is I’m alone.

So I purchased tickets to Oregon and from there to Montana. Might not be the best idea at the end of November to be buying tickets but I heard when it’s cold people want to be close to each other (physically) and all kinds of warm feelings. Being such an adventurer and always looking for love I cannot miss such an opportunity this coming winter.

I will post my whole report after I hunt for some tough men in cold places.
So watch out, men!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Interracial Dating

I would say it all depends on the location. I don’t think you will encounter such a thing in let’s say Alabama as often as in South Florida or some other metropolitan areas. I was one of the people being charmed by exotic men.

At the same time they find me exotic as well. Not so many Asian people around here. I just can’t help preferring mulatto men. They are so handsome, well-built and passionate lovers. At least the ones I have met. I had no boring moment with 2 men I dated in a period of a year. Each of them have introduced me to the things I didn’t know before. New drinks, food, entertainment and different system of values. I felt how free spirited my men were and I started feeling the same.

Unfortunately interracial dating can face it’s dead end when the family, community you live in and friends influence you more than 50% of your decisions. Some people give up so easily on the way to the happiness, and I wasn’t one of them. You get confused when you don’t know what you want- I knew. I just wanted to be happy. If a person can make me happy, other factors like age, race, nationality and religion do not make any difference to me. Time was passing by and I guess I had my own expectations according to my own culture, maybe I was expecting being kidnapped and married. Nothing was happening. My man was passionate, caring, loving but didn’t want to kidnap me. In other words to marry me.

So all my defense I was building against the society didn’t have to be used. I realized that my black men were scared to death of the commitment as any other white or Asian men. So that proved me that there is no difference between men at least. They are all afraid of the ring that will chain them to one single woman, kids, meeting parents and speaking publicly. In a closing I have to admit that there are no any specific tips how to date outside of your race, culture and street. Just be yourself and one day you will find someone who loves you just for you.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Hidden Skeletons On The Skeletons

Dating a police officer is not an easy thing I would say. First of all his day starts at 4 o’clock in the morning, while I go to bed an hour later. I cried on our first date. Why? Because he took me to the movie about firefighters who died on 9/11 in New York. It was a great movie, but not on a first date.

Couple weeks later I took him to Bodies Exhibition. I was studying human anatomy at that time so wanted to combine pleasure and use. So I had my revenge. Can’t say that our dates were full of romance and love flying in the air. The other way round, they seemed dry and dull. I wasn’t expecting the greatest entertainment in the world from him, maybe some cop jokes.
I remember one of them. Radio station. Dj is talking: “Now we are starting our evening show and the first song “Come together” is devoted to our dear police officers, which in their language means “jump in the back seat of my car, usually handcuffed.”

One day I was so proud and happy I was dating a police officer when we stopped by Blockbuster to rent a movie for the evening and a huge truck blocked the way to enter or exit the parking lot. So my boyfriend comes out from his car and gives him a ticket. I didn’t know they can give tickets when they are on a date and not on duty. The truck driver was very angry but I hope he understood that road is not only his and even if there are no police cars around, one of the guys with a cute girl might be an officer on a date.

It didn’t last long, however he was pretty open minded in changing him, he even sat with me on the floor to eat in one of the fancy Japanese restaurants. Our first shopping trip together was one of the last issues I couldn’t take. I picked a shirt for him and he went to try it. It was so good on him, on his fit, muscular body. I almost fainted when he turned around to show how it was from the back. It was a very light linen shirt, so I saw a huge tattoo on his back. His both shoulders and up to lower back. No, I haven’t seen him naked until that day. I was disgusted and couldn’t talk to him anymore.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Teachers Dating Students

Every teacher knows it’s against the law to date their student and every cute student knows if she gets him out on a date she can manipulate him until she finishes the college or university.
We dated only one semester. No, I didn’t dump him just after the final exam results showed up in my transcript. Actually I did very good in microbiology lab and the final was very easy for me since I knew how to differentiate Staphylococcus Aureus from Mycobacterium Tuberculosis. I was enjoying the class until my teacher started hitting on me, asking me some personal questions and finally asked me on a date. We went to one of the numerous sushi restaurants in South Beach. As millions of couples we went to the movie on our second date. Our dates were smooth and drama free, but classes went on an opposite direction. Between two of them I would definitely choose my class and career to develop, so I had to make a choice.

Not that I tried to make him give me good grade regardless my progress but I started oversleeping classes or coming late, missing my homework, etc. I didn’t do any of them intentionally but they were just happening at that time. Another thing I have noticed is that two girls from the same class were flirting with him borderless. By borderless I mean they were going over any borders of teacher and student conversations. Smiles, eye contacts, impromptu hand touches and many other little tricks women go into were little bit annoying to me. I saw how uncomfortable he felt, how he were looking at me at the same time and at that moment I realized that next semester there are going to be new students, younger girls, prettier ones. All I wanted is to protect myself from jealousy that would eat me years later every time he will leave to teach his new class.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

How To Find A Man On A Desert Island

Here are some tips if you ever happen to be on a deserted island and you find yourself looking for a date for Saturday night. Some of them may sound hard to accomplish, but essential survival tips on a dating scene still might be helpful. Before you can find anyone to date on a deserted island you need to get yourself into better shape.

Let’s start from the head. I mean what’s on it. I don’t think many would be interested what’s in it on the island. At least at the beginning, let’s hope. So, try to find an avocado tree and pick up some plants and make a mask for your hair. Put the paste on and wrap around with some big leaves. Rinse thoroughly after 45 minutes. You can time it by the sun. Let’s say you have put it when the sun was over the first palm tree on the row and you can rinse it when it will be over the 5th palm tree. Or something like that. Anyway. It will make your hair shine so strongly that maybe even someone on the next deserted island will notice it and swim by.

Your skin might get dry from the salty water, sun and sand so our next goal is to find at least a coconut tree because the nut’s milk is a good moisturizer for the skin on an everyday basis. Put it on every time you have showered in the ocean or fresh water river found somewhere in the middle of the island if you're lucky. Back to the skin. Yes, sun and sand damages our skin a lot if we do not take good care of it.

Since you will not have access to the best French perfumes and as we all know men like their women smelling good you will have to try to find some flowers that smell nice. Make a necklace out of them or squeeze their juices and put this liquid on your wrist, back neck and lower neck (that’s where they usually kiss).
So now, you are all ready to meet the man of your dreams and good luck in your hunt to find him!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Let Me Run You Over. If You’re Still Alive I Want To Marry You!

Some Kyrgyz traditions may sound too weird. People across the world wont understand them. When I remember the customs my great parents had I get goose bumps. One of them is how men used to test their future wives. It wasn’t all about assets, but physical strength of a woman. She had to be strong enough to carry and take care of a child. Remember medieval times when knights used to fight to conquer their women or at least some titles and money in Europe?

At that time Kyrgyz men used to ride on their horses and hit a woman they wanted to marry with their big winter hat. (Yes, you are reading right.) If a woman was strong enough to stay on her feet and didn’t loose her balance, then that is the right woman to be the mother of his kids. Not too romantic, right? I don’t know how women felt, but I would try to carry a big stick around, just in case someone will “ask me out”. So it's the 21st century now and what do you think Kyrgyz men do to find their love? They just kidnap, as I narrated in “The Sack Over Your Head A Ring On Your Finger?”. Mores change, same as people.

I would be very interested how people all around the world used to date, marry and love, relationships in general. Nowadays it’s all became a universal thing, so that peculiarities of the nations are lost. Who would at the beginning of 20th century think that Kyrgyz young people will give flowers and sweets to each other on Valentine’s Day by the end of the century? I am assuming Kyrgyz men are becoming more romantic. But you still can find that Kyrgyz men prefer both physically and mentally strong women and they are not into model type of girls, but of course you don’t have to be a wrestler either to find a man in Kyrgyzstan.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

The Sack Over Your Head A Ring On Your Finger

It all started two years ago and today I’m going to put an end to it. You would think people would stop me on the street to ask me for the time or for directions or even money. NO! They stop me to ask where am I from. The waiters in the restaurants should ask what I want to order for my entrĂ©e but instead they ask me where am I from. My neighbors instead of saying hi or bye to me ask me where am I from. Ok. Enough. I am going to finish it today. Let me clear this up by saying I’m not Chinese or Japanese - I am Kyrgyz.

We have quite different appearance and completely different customs, traditions and beliefs. Lets just take our tradition on marriage. Young people date for a short period of time and if a guy decides to get married his friends get together and stalk after her and when the moment is right they just kidnap her. Sometimes even the groom participates. He might trick her by asking her out to a restaurant and after dinner instead of taking her back to her place they just go straight to his house. As soon as they arrive the grooms mother puts a kerchief on the bride’s head and if she doesn’t take it off- that means she agrees to be his wife.

The riots, hysterics and crying are not rare as well. How would you feel if a boyfriend you just met kidnaps you and when you left your house you forgot to make your bed or even more tragic- you have to have your favorite pillow to have a good night sleep. And he happens to kidnap you the day when you didn’t have it in your purse. I understand when a girl knows a guy and they have dated at least a month, but there are marriages where couple’s first date was on their wedding day. The funniest thing in all this tradition is that the divorce rate is very low in Kyrgyzstan. My marriage was in a similar way, I was kidnapped and we had a baby girl year later. I want to tell you guys about how men used to test if it was a right woman for them, but it’s getting late and I have an early class tomorrow. So ciao for today my friends!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Tips On How To Forget A Man

It will never happen. Yes, that is true and that is my verdict for today. Unless you get some amnesia, in that case you might be lucky to forget him forever. But as for now, let’s try to forget him in terms of short period of time like stop crying every once in a while into the pillow and stop seeing him in every man across the street and think about the options that we have. I did a lot of dating and breaking up , so I know what I’m talking about.

One of the best methods was to get a new guy to forget an old one. Don’t look at me like that! Nobody is using anybody. It’s all about helping. Helping yourself and your loved ones. Anyway, it always used to work on me. I remember to forget a scientist I found a programmer, then to forget him I found a teacher, then insurance agent, engineer, and even just an unemployed.
Going shopping would be the other great way to forget a man. Not exciting but for the beginning just browsing can be a big thing when the world crashes. Women concentrate on details, tiny things so the assortment of the malls will keep our minds out of that pig in pants.

Some prefer ice-cream, some flan and some chocolate. I just take a gum. Yes, you heard it, gum. You know how annoying it can be when other person is chewing it, but when you do it, oh, it is so relaxing and makes you stop thinking at all. I mean you’re not capable of thinking anymore. If it makes you feel better you may imagine that it is him and every chew becomes even a pleasure.
And of course any destination vacation. New environment and people always bring new emotions and life begins over and over again, even in 50, it is just a beginning!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Tips On How To Get Rid Of A Man

Not long time passes by and oops, he is not the right one. I just feel sorry for all the energy wasted on him. Anyway, it’s time to move on. Plan your break up in details. What if you will never, ever meet him in this world again and you forgot your favourite toothbrush in his house or he forgot the red socks you gave him on Valentine’s Day. Don’t do anything after 5 minutes you have decided to get rid of him.

Calm down, go to the spa or even take a little getaway vacation and then only pack his stuff. Write down all the reasons you are breaking up with him, put in a plastic cover and tape it to his suite case or bag, or even his car. Remember, even the most miserable thing needs an explanation, so we don’t want to leave him without that. Whatever the reason of your break-up do not cry.

You don’t want him to remember you as some weak hysteric woman, don’t you? So, don’t do it.
Be very clear and don’t break anything, that’s why spa relaxation is very good. If you have some material belongings that you share custody for it might take a little longer and you two have to sit and talk about it. Don’t feel sorry for him if he has to go back to his mom’s basement to reside. Or don’t feel tempted to stay with him, even though if you know he is not right for you only because you have to go back to your mom’s house or pay a high rent.

Sometimes it’s hard to part with a man who keeps telling you that he loves and stalks you around. As we all know life is too short and why would anybody waste extra hour, extra breath, extra heart beat on someone who is not the ONE?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Tips On How To Get A Man

First of all you have to find him. As I told you all the tricks how to find him in my previous article, now after we found him it’s time to make him yours. By saying make him “yours” I don’t mean own him, control him or keep him out of reach of the children etc. Just some tricks so that he will do it all by himself. Make sure you complete all the steps.
OK, You met online and here is your first date.
1. First impression is the impression he will have of you forever. So don’t dare to wear sneakers for the first date. At the same time don’t overdress.
2. Don’t talk too much or sit as a fish. Fish, don’t order it if you don’t know how to use fish fork or learn about table etiquette before your date.
3. Write down all the questions you want to ask and read through at home so you don’t come home from a date and still you know nothing about him.
4. Be very feminine and don’t make your silly jokes that all your friends love.
Only close friends get them and he is just a stranger so far.
5. Let him choose the place but don’t let him pick you up. Especially from your house.
6. And last but most important- offer to pay for half of the bill. He doesn’t have to pay for you but if he does it’s only a plus towards him and offering is a plus towards you.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Tips On How To Find A Man

Not that hard, but not easy either. You always have to be alert and keep your eyes open. You never know where the man of your dreams is hiding. Look everywhere, even in the trash room! Of course don’t look through trash- he is definitely not there but he might be just a nice eco friendly guy who is recycling his bottle of wine. And do not forget to wear lipstick all the time.

We could eliminate some potential places we don’t want to meet our men, but being romantic we should consider all places like: Laundromat, beaches, law offices ( a man can be getting a divorce), all kinds of concerts, plays and balls.

Let’s say you met him in Starbucks. What is next? Ok, you have to remember that we are not looking for just a “man”, we are in search of right man. After first glance pay attention to his shoes. Good quality and tasteful shoes never belong to some sloven, and we don’t want some cheap men either. Next is the watch on his wrist. If they are Asahi, forget about him and concentrate on someone else. Each hair counted haircut is the peak of elegance of men. I don’t consider shaven hair to be haircut. After quick inspection he turns out to be a considerable candidate. Don’t stare at him but as soon as he looks at your side wink at him and turn back ( don’t forget little smile on your face).
He will wonder who you are and will approach you within 5 minutes. All that will follow is totally up to you. Just don’t screw it up.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

How To Make The Right Decision

To make a decision is always hard, but the right one is the hardest. Torture for me is to choose between ice cream and cheesecake for dessert but now it’s time to make some bigger decisions. Six months ago when I was dating my current boy friend I didn’t know whether to leave him or let life go until it gets too serious. Six months is already too serious for me so I was about to make my right decision. But how to make a right one? These tips helped me to figure it out:

Divide a piece of paper into two columns and list all pros and cons (separately of course J );

Trust your stomach. No, you are not going to eat and see what happens, no. Just close your eyes and think about the decision you want to make and each of the options. How does your stomach feel when you think of each of the options? Guess what, it will tell you which is the right one.

Plan it. When you will write everything on the paper it will be more clear to find out. Plan for the next week, month or even a year and you’ll see.

And the last one. Be honest with yourself. Analyze the environment, yourself, him and you two together. If you aren't honest to yourself, nobody else is going to be.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Karma- What Goes Around Comes Around

Ok, it’s another way to manipulate people, especially young teens. How those who only lived ten and something years know that all you do will come back to you as a boomerang? They do not know, they haven’t lived enough to wait for everything to come back, but they do believe. Now, there is an interesting question - Do you do something nice just for the sake of it or hope or if something bad afraid it will come and bite you later? In a latter case you are just helping yourself. Everyone gets what he/she deserves and what he/she wants but not because they did something bad. I wish this karma thing really did work! But no, the life is unfair and I do understand you might be saying to yourself Im worth something more than my husband or my bf who I’m 5 years with.

If you don’t want it and think you deserve much more just do it, that’s what You want and not because KARMA brought you this fat husband who consumes more beer than your car in a week. Or if you want home cooked meal every day you come from work- kick that lazy cow out of your house and stop paying for her spa visits. Unless if that’s what you want, of course. If you can’t do it- just suck it up and deal with it for the rest of your life. I don’t mean you should walk over the heads and be totally selfish, no. But my point is if you do good just for karma, then you are helping yourself and not other people, so can we call those people nice, really nice???

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

New Way To Find Out If It’s Mr. Right

One company in Switzerland made a research to hire people based upon how they eat. Yes, they invited them over to the restaurant and the interview was how people ate. Innocent people didn’t know about the experiment being held on them. I think one of the best ways to find out if it is Mr. Right is not going to the fancy restaurants with him, but follow him in the car and see how he drives. If he speeds, never let other people go (especially women), honks and demonstrates other rude behaviors on the road- he cannot be good guy for you. I don’t think men would do that with you in the car, but they do get wild when they have that wheel in their hands and no one can criticize them.

I had a chemistry teacher who I respected a lot and today I saw him driving. His windows were down and he didn’t let me go into his lane, because mine ended and acted as if he didn’t see me. Then he speed up (going at least 55 on 35 road). He was very nice to me while tutoring and giving me hints that he would like to ask me out. I was so happy today that I never went out with him, so from now on I want to test my potential dates on the road. Sounds funny, but that’s what reveals an animal sitting deep inside that they show years after when it‘s too late.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Many Reasons I Like Men

Why do I like men? First because I am a woman. Or it’s already abnormal nowadays for women to prefer men? I think I will stay with those instincts given us with blood. Before I get carried away again, let me tell quickly the reasons I like men. Men are much cleaner ( I see your smile), if you would live or school with only women- the degradation process will take week or even less, but mixed communities much longer or even progress under some circumstances.

With men you don’t have to gossip about some cute guy or your best friend. They take 2 minutes for shower, don’t use make up, not obsessed with shopping and will never sleep with your husband. Most of all men play by rules, give you flowers and nice gifts. They might be very helpful around the house: reach for the thing you cannot, fix the broken things or change the light bulb. If they cheat on you one day- you can always substitute them.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Sunday, November 2, 2008

10 And 1 Reasons I Don’t Like Women

1. They never can keep a secret.
2. Most of them are dumb, even though they might not reveal it first time, but it becomes clear shortly after.
3. They claim they are clean creatures, but anything except their make up is a mess.
4. They lie too often, sometime even without any reason. Just for the sake of it.
5. By the age of 50 they have done more than 50 plastic surgeries.
6. They can’t keep the same personality 7 days in a row.
7. They pretend too much.
8. They get too wild if they have too much of freedom, money and power.
9. Some have no idea what self-respect means.
10. First cold as ice, then melt like an ice-cream, then who wants to drink warm milk?
11. Watch out if they have a little beauty. They use that weapon more than anything else.