Friday, October 23, 2009

Who should sleep on the couch after an argument

There is a secret to a strong family and it starts when you say “Yes, I do!”. Do you remember the words in good and bad? Well, when you quarrel it is bad, so you stay together even then. Once there is a habit of one of you to sleep on the couch it will be every time when you argue. What if one day he decides to sleep in his friend’s house, relatives place and maybe even ex’s apartment. What’s then? One of the spouses sleeping on the couch means depriving his/her sexual life and how can you sleep in one bed after that with the same person? Being together, in one bed is a hard after argument but it is only couple hours of sleep.

My mom always used to tell me to be with your man no matter what happens and arguments were there too. I do have a couple jokes about sleeping outside of the bed in case of arguments with my husband. He desperately wants a dog and when I told him I will never let a dog in my bed and in my kitchen he got all upset and said they will live in the tent in the backyard, so I joke about him sleeping in the backyard when we argue and not even couch. It’s still a joke and I would never let even my husband to sleep in the backyard after argument.

However I had an interesting case while I was traveling and lived with my friends for a month in Europe. They were married for less than two years and still had some unresolved issues. One night I see my girlfriend coming out and trying to sleep in my room. Imagine my surprise about their argument and she was the one to walk out and volunteer to sleep in the couch. I didn’t know what to do and honestly don’t like any other woman sleeping with me. So we spoke and I explained to her why it is so important for both of them not to sleep on the couch. After we had a cup of tea and talked about our friends, adventures and many other girls talk we both went to sleep and there was another beautiful day.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Humor or looks?

Usually when you good looking guy then he is dumb or arrogant. If a guy outgoing and humorous and nice then he is usually not so good looking. And in most cases they do not come together. Same as men say about women. They want looks and smarts at the same time.
Personality is a very powerful thing, it can melt any icy hard heart. Looks do it too, but only temporary. However first charming effect can be lethal for some poor loving women (or men). I’ve met and dated many men so far, and according to my humble opinion men with personalities burn longer and probability of staying married to such guys is about 90%. Unless you decide to cheat on him. Even though the evening with handsome man can be beautiful, with a nice man it will be gorgeous. I try to make friends with good looking men and be close with middle looks men. Just because I like stability.

When talking about humor I like medium spiced humor. If a man makes you laugh, what else can be better? If a man makes you laugh all the time watch out for some behavioral abnormalities. Maybe I’m wrong, but hey, he has to be serious sometimes too. Good sense of humor is essential, I have only male friends as many girls I’ve met doesn’t seem to get my humor. Their world is narrow by salons, new ways to fold clothes and snotty kids. But simplest jokes still work on them. As for a guy I am seeing and he doesn’t get some of my political jokes about Chavez or Rice, my disappointment doesn’t have borders. Most likely I will not see him again. You can’t just look at the picture all the time, right? Same with food, would you get fool if you keep looking at the pictures of food? No. Same men. Humor, smarts and personality win on the long run anyway

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Would a tattoo be a make or break

First time I heard a tattoo can be a deal maker I thought how ridiculous it was. Then it happened that I met several people who were crazy about tattoos and it changed my opinion. Her name was Vanessa and she was a very big girl. When you have more body surface area you can fit more tattoos. She definitely was taking advantage of her sizes. She even had tattoo on her breasts, they were huge. Every tattoo had it’s own story and reason. The man she met had numerous tattoos as well. I thought a lot about two of them sitting on a Saturday night and describing their tattoos or their first date, it must have been full of little stories. They are having a baby on the way, and I don’t know about their intentions whether to tattoo the baby.

If you have been to “The Bodies” exhibition at the end they explain what happens to your lungs when you smoke and have a real lung of a smoker, the same they show with tattoos. Obviously the biggest organ in our body skin suffers with tattoos but I find it sad and funny when I see an older person with tattoos that are saggy and all wrinkled. That might be one of the reasons older people usually are not interested in tattoos.

The reasons I would never get a tattoo are: I think they are ugly; they are permanent; not feminine; and a major reason- only prisoners had tattoos at the beginning, it’s just teens and other easy influential people followed them. If a man I met had tattoos most likely it would be deal breaker. Even if you get them removed they leave scars and shadow of their shape. Many would argue that it might have been a mistake of youth and the person has changed and matured since that time but it is a tattoo itself that is turn off. I had two cases of men revealing their tattoos to me and the relationship would stop the next minute. So for me the tattoo would be a break, forget and never make.

Friday, October 2, 2009

A night to forget

As many of my readers (if I have any) have noticed by now that I have a lot of nights to remember and also many nights to forget. I don’t know if other people experience the same feelings about things to remember and forget. Unfortunately we cannot select our memories to be kept in our brain, some stay in our heart and causes it to contract every time they are remembered.

They say that time is the best healer, however I have found even better substitution- I used to get a new boyfriend if an old one hurts me. That technique doesn’t seem to work with husbands as most of them are permanent. Ok, my first one wasn’t but I thought he was. It’s time to stop and smell the roses, clean the house, make kids, go to work, you know, all the things normal people do. I would say normal married couples do. We are out of the list then.
I still have something to talk about- the night to forget. Isn’t how I called this little page from my life today? There were many nights to forget when I was single because I was alone and nobody wants to be alone, go to bed alone, wake up alone. At least me. I never had problem finding men or I just forget the nights I was alone. My husband is not much a trouble at night as he falls asleep before he hit’s the pillow. I am the one who tosses around, needs some water, goes to the bathroom, then watches some TV and by the time I feel sleepy the dawn comes through windows. I am a big believer that you shouldn’t go to bed with an issue in your heart. I might even say that it can be a secret of happy marriage. So yes, we had an argument and he fell asleep immediately. I cleaned the kitchen, organized every shelve. Feeling too much stress and anger I went to the gym at 2 am.

I needed to talk to somebody and usually everybody but my husband listens to me at any time. He used to call me even after I got married and kept telling me how much he loves me and wants to be my friend. I don’t want to be his friend, it’s too much of a temptation. I had my weak moment that night. I called him myself, we talked for an hour and then he said he wanted to see me and comfort me. I knew that it was wrong that I was in his car and the whole way I was thinking about that. He knew that I wasn’t coming back to him as I loved my husband. I don’t know why I did such a terrible thing that night. Definitely a night to forget and my husband played a big role in it as he was the one to push me away into other man’s arms.