Friday, October 2, 2009

A night to forget

As many of my readers (if I have any) have noticed by now that I have a lot of nights to remember and also many nights to forget. I don’t know if other people experience the same feelings about things to remember and forget. Unfortunately we cannot select our memories to be kept in our brain, some stay in our heart and causes it to contract every time they are remembered.

They say that time is the best healer, however I have found even better substitution- I used to get a new boyfriend if an old one hurts me. That technique doesn’t seem to work with husbands as most of them are permanent. Ok, my first one wasn’t but I thought he was. It’s time to stop and smell the roses, clean the house, make kids, go to work, you know, all the things normal people do. I would say normal married couples do. We are out of the list then.
I still have something to talk about- the night to forget. Isn’t how I called this little page from my life today? There were many nights to forget when I was single because I was alone and nobody wants to be alone, go to bed alone, wake up alone. At least me. I never had problem finding men or I just forget the nights I was alone. My husband is not much a trouble at night as he falls asleep before he hit’s the pillow. I am the one who tosses around, needs some water, goes to the bathroom, then watches some TV and by the time I feel sleepy the dawn comes through windows. I am a big believer that you shouldn’t go to bed with an issue in your heart. I might even say that it can be a secret of happy marriage. So yes, we had an argument and he fell asleep immediately. I cleaned the kitchen, organized every shelve. Feeling too much stress and anger I went to the gym at 2 am.

I needed to talk to somebody and usually everybody but my husband listens to me at any time. He used to call me even after I got married and kept telling me how much he loves me and wants to be my friend. I don’t want to be his friend, it’s too much of a temptation. I had my weak moment that night. I called him myself, we talked for an hour and then he said he wanted to see me and comfort me. I knew that it was wrong that I was in his car and the whole way I was thinking about that. He knew that I wasn’t coming back to him as I loved my husband. I don’t know why I did such a terrible thing that night. Definitely a night to forget and my husband played a big role in it as he was the one to push me away into other man’s arms.

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