Friday, May 8, 2009

Dating deal breakers

Dating can be very hard. Especially considering how men and women are so different. When a man and woman see another woman they usually think totally two different things. So opposites attract? Can two genders attract each other and at the same time have same goals? Might be, although experience shows that there are many deal breakers in dating. My friends would say it’s mother-in-law and my local friends have mentioned that it can be bad breath, past relationships, bad manners, bad tastes (in clothes, cologne, food, etc).

Sometimes it gets to the point when anything can be a deal breaker. Oh, that’s when it’s too late to be flexible and try to save the relationship. Unless you just started and there is no emotional ties to that person. I met a man online once and after I saw him in the restaurant I realized I didn’t like him.

Well, it was my mistake I agreed for dinner (I was working during the day), but then I wrote him an email saying that I didn’t feel that chemistry was there. It’s one of the most innocent ways to say “good-bye” without hurting the person. Many women prefer to part with a man if he has a bad taste in clothes instead of training him. I think the show “What not to wear” came to help those poor women and men to keep their relationships.

One thing however I wouldn’t tolerate is bad manners. It means a lot to me. I haven’t been raised in a castle with no means of royalty but I do have manners and can behave as a lady. Absence of manners, basic human as well as chivalry is the biggest deal breaker of all times. Any ideas ladies? Well, bring it up but don’t fool me with something like “He gives me flowers every day and I’m tired of it!”.

1 comment:

adel said...

well manners are very essential like you have said. I have just got thrown out of a very painful and long relationship that was way too complicated.. well at least it seems that way these days.. it s been 15 months, the first time he acted rude towards me and that night when I called it quits I should have been strong and not answered his calls.. I would not be hurting as much I am now, if I had done that.
we have started off when I was still married and he was about to get engaged.. so it started complicated but I was very open and honest, told him how much he meant to me and I even proved him that there was not a thing I would not do for him, but leave my son behind. So he knew his place and he used this over and over... he kept telling me this has no end which I believe was his way off confessing himself.. like yea I know you love me and you make love to me like I am some kinda God but hey remember this is gotta end and I will not be in your life forever.. and i didnt understand at the time what he really meant.. everything has an end I thought.. so this shall be over at some point too. the closer we got, he got further away from me and repeated that he didnt think of an anyhow, after 35 break ups and get togethers which he called me each time or responded to my msges some how.. he has never said I LOVE YOU to me but I always thought who would call and talk to someone or want to be with someone as much as he does.. he has to love me or care at some level. then one night he told me he pitied me and that really got me mad! who the f... are you? who do you think you are that you can pity me?after this nothing was the same.. we went on meeting and doing dinners and sleeping together but that was it.. unfortunately I was too emotionally involved or I would have really kicked his butt a long time ago..

Anyhow- painful emails and nights of shivering and nervous breakdowns, I think it is really over this time.. I am not going to let him abuse me anymore, even though I love him and know that I will never love again like this. I want to be happy again- I miss the old me, the girl I lived with so long in peace before I met this loser..i dont want to love anyone like this..
so that s it.. run as fast as you can when you think ohh the bells are ringing he might be the one...