Dating deal breakers

Dating can be very hard. Especially considering how men and women are so different. When a man and woman see another woman they usually think totally two different things. So opposites attract? Can two genders attract each other and at the same time have same goals? Might be, although experience shows that there are many deal breakers in dating. My friends would say it’s mother-in-law and my local friends have mentioned that it can be bad breath, past relationships, bad manners, bad tastes (in clothes, cologne, food, etc).

Sometimes it gets to the point when anything can be a deal breaker. Oh, that’s when it’s too late to be flexible and try to save the relationship. Unless you just started and there is no emotional ties to that person. I met a man online once and after I saw him in the restaurant I realized I didn’t like him.

Well, it was my mistake I agreed for dinner (I was working during the day), but then I wrote him an email saying that I didn’t feel that chemistry was there. It’s one of the most innocent ways to say “good-bye” without hurting the person. Many women prefer to part with a man if he has a bad taste in clothes instead of training him. I think the show “What not to wear” came to help those poor women and men to keep their relationships.

One thing however I wouldn’t tolerate is bad manners. It means a lot to me. I haven’t been raised in a castle with no means of royalty but I do have manners and can behave as a lady. Absence of manners, basic human as well as chivalry is the biggest deal breaker of all times. Any ideas ladies? Well, bring it up but don’t fool me with something like “He gives me flowers every day and I’m tired of it!”.

Football Season Again!

I always try to compromise. Especially if a man is nice to me. But last Saturday evening I had to spend watching football only because I’m so nice.
I just don’t like those bars full of noise and smoke. And whistling and yelling and the whole contingent around me. So I had to put up with that only because right before going there I made him go shopping to the mall with me.
And of course he bought some nice things for me. I guess I had to pay for those nice things. But the price was too high. Next time I would prefer to go shopping with my girl-friends (with his credit card) and he goes to his bars with his male friends.

I can deal with anything but not football. I just don’t understand that cruel game and refuse to watch it. Not that I’m too girly girl and sensitive, no, it’s just too boring. By the end of the game I said that if it was up to me I would give each player a personal ball so that they don’t have to crush each other over the ONLY ONE ball. It seemed like the whole bar turned over to me and looked at me in a silence as if I was blonde. I’m not blonde and I didn’t say that just because I thought it would make game more interesting, I just don’t like violence. Also I believe my bf misses down to earth pleasures and entertainment of simple folks but I’m waiting for the end of the season to go to operas and ballets again. Some cruise would be nice too.

How To Make A Man Do Everything You Want

I have read a very interesting article on when and how to make your man do whatever you want and decided to share it with women who don’t know it yet. Even if they know, it’s just a reminder. I’ll print it and read it once in a while too, just to remember how to train my man. It might be very useful for women who are dating, looking for a date, just got married or planning on getting married. For those who have been married for a long time the author says it might be too late, hence the time is wasted and your husband has already gotten used to the rules and might appear too stiff to be trained. According to that article the honeymoon is the best time to start training your husband.

Training, as I understood is not offending at all, and shouldn’t be to the men who will read this. Why? Just because the woman is the one who is responsible for the family. Just because nature programmed men in a way that they should be going hunting, making great scientific and geographical discoveries, go to war and die to win them. So women are the ones who create the family and they can have the right to choose the man, to love him, to train him and if he is good- live with him. Imagine you’re working with clay and while it’s new, wet and soft- you can make any shapes, but when it dries up forget about it.

Some women wonder after 10 years of living together and trying to change him just not working. “I’ve been living with you ten years and you've never given me flowers and never bought me gifts!” and the husband honestly says “But you never told me you liked flowers and wanted gifts!” and he is right! He's just one of the millions of husbands that are not trained. You can get anything you ever wanted in your honeymoon, while his love is still hot, not that it will cool down later but it will become a habit. And we have to cultivate good habits like taking care of you, bringing you flowers, cleaning after himself, buying you gifts at least once a month and very expensive ones every 6 months. You can make your own list and he will do it all. How? Just give him hints, make sad faces and in the cases when your man is super dumb- tell him.

Interracial Dating

I would say it all depends on the location. I don’t think you will encounter such a thing in let’s say Alabama as often as in South Florida or some other metropolitan areas. I was one of the people being charmed by exotic men.

At the same time they find me exotic as well. Not so many Asian people around here. I just can’t help preferring mulatto men. They are so handsome, well-built and passionate lovers. At least the ones I have met. I had no boring moment with 2 men I dated in a period of a year. Each of them have introduced me to the things I didn’t know before. New drinks, food, entertainment and different system of values. I felt how free spirited my men were and I started feeling the same.

Unfortunately interracial dating can face it’s dead end when the family, community you live in and friends influence you more than 50% of your decisions. Some people give up so easily on the way to the happiness, and I wasn’t one of them. You get confused when you don’t know what you want- I knew. I just wanted to be happy. If a person can make me happy, other factors like age, race, nationality and religion do not make any difference to me. Time was passing by and I guess I had my own expectations according to my own culture, maybe I was expecting being kidnapped and married. Nothing was happening. My man was passionate, caring, loving but didn’t want to kidnap me. In other words to marry me.

So all my defense I was building against the society didn’t have to be used. I realized that my black men were scared to death of the commitment as any other white or Asian men. So that proved me that there is no difference between men at least. They are all afraid of the ring that will chain them to one single woman, kids, meeting parents and speaking publicly. In a closing I have to admit that there are no any specific tips how to date outside of your race, culture and street. Just be yourself and one day you will find someone who loves you just for you.

Hidden Skeletons On The Skeletons

Dating a police officer is not an easy thing I would say. First of all his day starts at 4 o’clock in the morning, while I go to bed an hour later. I cried on our first date. Why? Because he took me to the movie about firefighters who died on 9/11 in New York. It was a great movie, but not on a first date.

Couple weeks later I took him to Bodies Exhibition. I was studying human anatomy at that time so wanted to combine pleasure and use. So I had my revenge. Can’t say that our dates were full of romance and love flying in the air. The other way round, they seemed dry and dull. I wasn’t expecting the greatest entertainment in the world from him, maybe some cop jokes.
I remember one of them. Radio station. Dj is talking: “Now we are starting our evening show and the first song “Come together” is devoted to our dear police officers, which in their language means “jump in the back seat of my car, usually handcuffed.”

One day I was so proud and happy I was dating a police officer when we stopped by Blockbuster to rent a movie for the evening and a huge truck blocked the way to enter or exit the parking lot. So my boyfriend comes out from his car and gives him a ticket. I didn’t know they can give tickets when they are on a date and not on duty. The truck driver was very angry but I hope he understood that road is not only his and even if there are no police cars around, one of the guys with a cute girl might be an officer on a date.

It didn’t last long, however he was pretty open minded in changing him, he even sat with me on the floor to eat in one of the fancy Japanese restaurants. Our first shopping trip together was one of the last issues I couldn’t take. I picked a shirt for him and he went to try it. It was so good on him, on his fit, muscular body. I almost fainted when he turned around to show how it was from the back. It was a very light linen shirt, so I saw a huge tattoo on his back. His both shoulders and up to lower back. No, I haven’t seen him naked until that day. I was disgusted and couldn’t talk to him anymore.

Teachers Dating Students

Every teacher knows it’s against the law to date their student and every cute student knows if she gets him out on a date she can manipulate him until she finishes the college or university.
We dated only one semester. No, I didn’t dump him just after the final exam results showed up in my transcript. Actually I did very good in microbiology lab and the final was very easy for me since I knew how to differentiate Staphylococcus Aureus from Mycobacterium Tuberculosis. I was enjoying the class until my teacher started hitting on me, asking me some personal questions and finally asked me on a date. We went to one of the numerous sushi restaurants in South Beach. As millions of couples we went to the movie on our second date. Our dates were smooth and drama free, but classes went on an opposite direction. Between two of them I would definitely choose my class and career to develop, so I had to make a choice.

Not that I tried to make him give me good grade regardless my progress but I started oversleeping classes or coming late, missing my homework, etc. I didn’t do any of them intentionally but they were just happening at that time. Another thing I have noticed is that two girls from the same class were flirting with him borderless. By borderless I mean they were going over any borders of teacher and student conversations. Smiles, eye contacts, impromptu hand touches and many other little tricks women go into were little bit annoying to me. I saw how uncomfortable he felt, how he were looking at me at the same time and at that moment I realized that next semester there are going to be new students, younger girls, prettier ones. All I wanted is to protect myself from jealousy that would eat me years later every time he will leave to teach his new class.

Tips On How To Get Rid Of A Man

Not long time passes by and oops, he is not the right one. I just feel sorry for all the energy wasted on him. Anyway, it’s time to move on. Plan your break up in details. What if you will never, ever meet him in this world again and you forgot your favourite toothbrush in his house or he forgot the red socks you gave him on Valentine’s Day. Don’t do anything after 5 minutes you have decided to get rid of him.

Calm down, go to the spa or even take a little getaway vacation and then only pack his stuff. Write down all the reasons you are breaking up with him, put in a plastic cover and tape it to his suite case or bag, or even his car. Remember, even the most miserable thing needs an explanation, so we don’t want to leave him without that. Whatever the reason of your break-up do not cry.

You don’t want him to remember you as some weak hysteric woman, don’t you? So, don’t do it.
Be very clear and don’t break anything, that’s why spa relaxation is very good. If you have some material belongings that you share custody for it might take a little longer and you two have to sit and talk about it. Don’t feel sorry for him if he has to go back to his mom’s basement to reside. Or don’t feel tempted to stay with him, even though if you know he is not right for you only because you have to go back to your mom’s house or pay a high rent.

Sometimes it’s hard to part with a man who keeps telling you that he loves and stalks you around. As we all know life is too short and why would anybody waste extra hour, extra breath, extra heart beat on someone who is not the ONE?

New Way To Find Out If It’s Mr. Right

One company in Switzerland made a research to hire people based upon how they eat. Yes, they invited them over to the restaurant and the interview was how people ate. Innocent people didn’t know about the experiment being held on them. I think one of the best ways to find out if it is Mr. Right is not going to the fancy restaurants with him, but follow him in the car and see how he drives. If he speeds, never let other people go (especially women), honks and demonstrates other rude behaviors on the road- he cannot be good guy for you. I don’t think men would do that with you in the car, but they do get wild when they have that wheel in their hands and no one can criticize them.

I had a chemistry teacher who I respected a lot and today I saw him driving. His windows were down and he didn’t let me go into his lane, because mine ended and acted as if he didn’t see me. Then he speed up (going at least 55 on 35 road). He was very nice to me while tutoring and giving me hints that he would like to ask me out. I was so happy today that I never went out with him, so from now on I want to test my potential dates on the road. Sounds funny, but that’s what reveals an animal sitting deep inside that they show years after when it‘s too late.

Dating A Celebrity

Yes, it is hard. Yes, it is too much of pressure. Yes, it is all about them and you are just someone dating a celebrity. He is very handsome man, takes me everywhere he goes ( cannot tell his name for confidentiality reasons), very talented and very good father. Stop. Father- all his free time he wants to spend with his daughter, I’m only on the third place. I don’t like it. I want to be the first thing in his life.

You cannot change the past but you can change your future and it seems like I am ready to make those changes and not sacrifice myself for his name, gifts and money. I know how to eliminate other women in his life, but his child, his precious blood I cannot deal with that.
It has been going from month to another and he seems pretty comfortable with our positions and I don’t know how to end this up.

When To Introduce Your Love To Co-Workers

All of us make little silly mistakes sometimes. I am a big exception- I make little silly mistakes all the time. Like introducing my boyfriend to my colleagues. Being a teacher was a hard job in the aspect that you have to be an example not only to your children and some close people, but to your students and other professors. When I have introduced my third boyfriend within two and a half period of time I started feeling uncomfortable. Not that I deliberately was bringing them in to my department everybody to meet, but there were so many reasons they had to come and see me at work during breaks.

So now, one month passes by and guess what- I have a new boyfriend. I would love not allow him to visit me at work under any circumstances, but yesterday he said he wants to cook and bring me the food for my lunch. I said that I was having lunch with my colleagues, but he wants to bring it another day. I don’t know how he has so much time on his hands, I guess it’s one of the advantages of being self-employed. I still have a problematic question when revealing the truth at work, soon or later they will find out. Maybe I should stop dating at all or stop being too picky and dropping guys so soon.

Greediness- is it possible to change it

It must be frustrating for any girl to never receive a single gift from her boyfriend. Many beautiful girls think men are obligated to shower them with gifts all the time. In my case I wasn’t expecting expensive gifts or surprise trips to places, but rather some attention- meaning opening the doors, asking me what I want for breakfast, etc; then, after six month of dating him I started feeling anxiety if he will ever give me anything, at least a post-card.

He is not a poor man and he constantly buys himself gifts, why not me?!
Is it in his genes, bringing up gap or just personal beliefs? I don’t know, and I’m trying to cure him from that giving him a lot of little gifts one in a while. I never forget our monthly anniversary, and take him to the nice restaurant. I don’t know if his disease is terminal or curable, but I will keep trying. I might be wrong and it’s better when you don’t expect anything or least. That way you get all you wanted and even more.

Can We Ever Leave Our Past In The Past

For some people it is the hardest thing to do. Like my current boyfriend. I find pictures of his ex-s, their personal items and just their souls flying around. Very weird and unpleasant feeling. When our past becomes past? I think when we meet our future, at least with me. This trick always works on me- I try to find someone new in order to forget someone old. And then even present becomes past. It is not an easy thing to be a sugarbabe.

You have to learn control your feelings and be ready to move on any second. I think of a flight attendant girl when I talk about my life or better say lifestyle. I have to be ready to go to nay part of the world at a moment’s notice. I cannot have PMS days, I have to look best at any times and perform multiple functions at the same time, but the hardest thing- to deal with my partners’ past all the time and never think about mine. I believe one day I will also meet a man who will leave his past behind when he will see me.

Bloody Knife

All relationships usually start romantically and pure. Mine started with a lot of blood, swelling and head aches. I met a surgeon. He was excellent, tall and handsome. All you want from a man, but not from your surgeon. I didn’t want him to look inside of my mouth and pull my wisdom tooth out. Yes he was a facial surgeon. After some time dating him and having our first kiss I still felt uncomfortable thinking about that he pulled my tooth, and I was always thinking how he felt kissing me, if he thinks about my tooth.

Funny and silly, I know, but I can’t do anything about it and it keeps bothering me even now, after I broke up with him. I think that was the reason I couldn’t continue the relationship with him. If we only met in different circumstances, I think we would have a future. Neither I wouldn’t be able to date my hairdresser, my lawyer ( partially because I try to sue anyone I can- I have a lot of issues), and my best friend- because he knows too much about me, especially the part which my boyfriend shouldn’t know. At the end, it seems to me- I have nobody to date.

Is There A Such Thing As Non-beneficial Relationships

Being a student is hard, especially if you are combining full-time school and full-time dating. Sometimes I think it would be more beneficial for me if men I date would teach me some of my classes, not only giving me gifts and pay for my school. Am I becoming greedy like an old lady from a story about gold fish which would do any of her wishes and one day she wished to be a goddess of the world. She gets nothing at the end and comes back to her initial state.

I’ve got to remember that part, in order not to forget and get as much as I can and give back the same. Can we all have relationships without asking something back? It does not fit the situation I’m in right now. I am young and in blossom and I don’t think men will give me something more than a polite smile when my beauty will fade one day and I’ll still be single. Men as well as women try to get the best they can while they have youth or later they can still catch up with money. So why people blame young and beautiful girls for getting all the best men in the world? I think it is just a process called natural selection.

The Best Love Story

In the nomination of best love story we can award probably one of the youngest guys I have ever dated. Konstantin. He was only two years older than me and was very tall and handsome. Don’t make it fool you, he had his own company at the age of 18. Young men don’t have experience but they have romance which women love. He brought me 14 red heart shaped balloons for our first Valentine’s Day. It was a beauty contest and I could see him from the stage among all people in the city hall. Sitting with his love balloons. It was one of the best gifts I have ever received. I even did not get upset I didn’t win the beauty pageant, but we spent a beautiful evening.

The next morning I had to go to school and he stayed. He lived on 24th floor and while I got out from the building and went to the street he did something very special. He knew I would look at the window and wave at him, so while I was going down he cut “I LOVE YOU” from a white paper and was putting it on the window. I melted right there. And there were many of that kind of moments. That is why I guess we were together much longer than with any of men I met so far. As one wise woman said - men come and go, but diamonds stay with us forever. There were left couple of them after we separated, including a lot of good memories.

What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas

Nothing yet. But I have been invited there by my another date. His type of job says executive management, I guess same kind of BS job where people do nothing and get paid more than engineer dealing with real problems. At this point I realized that less you work more you get paid. So I’m expecting some kind of corporate guy in nice cloth, nice car and busy with his Blackberry. Honestly not my type of men. He is at least good looking and was very nice over the phone and me being young and beautiful I am going with my friend there. Having been given how to spend the best vacation in Vegas I will try to use them all and come back all refreshed and satisfied with my trip.

Amazing, to me it seems like an oasis in the middle of desert. Until I have seen it. It would be totally unacceptable for a girl to travel too meet with a guy in my culture, but I’m here, in a different country and should play by the rules established here. Have to say that being a sugarbabe is not an easy job. Great shows, musicals and best restaurants- who does not want it all? I don’t know what excites me more: my new date or my trip to Vegas. But it’s definitely something that I love to do.

Why Do Men Lie

All of us lie. Deliberately, unintentionally, for good, for bad some time in a lifetime we all lie. Just thinking which one is better- many small or one big lie? Neither of them is good, but I personally agree that a lie for good that can save lives is worth and should be done considering the situation. I don’t know was it good or not, but my friend got into a net called marriage in one of those for “good” called lies. She met a man that was smart enough to tell he that he was 39 while he was almost 46 just to date her. My poor friend thought he was just not in a good shape and believed him. Three months later they got married, six months after she found out the truth, but it was too late. Let me tell you, my friend is 26 years young, turning 27. Still young.

So I met the guy and didn’t like him. People think of me as a divorce attorney who wants everybody get divorced. But hey, I don’t get any profit out of it! I am just trying to help people. I just don’t like when people lie to me and if I see someone else lying it makes me upset. And in this case I would understand my friend, but she even doesn’t love him. Feeling secure? No! He doesn’t have a house, even a car. It’s hard to imagine a person in America not having a car. There is even a saying about American people living in their cars. Do you think she would not date and marry him if she knew his real age? I don’t think so. It’s natural- people age and as the time passes they are given certain number. I can’t recall my last big or small lie, but I definitely have one. The only thing I hope my next date will not lie to me about having HIV.

Would I Ever Date A Woman

My last trip to jewelry store brought me some intriguing acquaintances. A middle aged woman approached me, she was very well dressed and very beautiful. “You want that ring dear?”, she asked as coming my way. I was immediately on a “be careful” mode and since I saw she wasn’t an employee there and obviously not my mom or friend her tone and question distracted me. She gave me couple of compliments about my looks saying it was unusual to meet an Asian girl in this state. An invitation for cup of coffee, business card and hint about that ring being mine was a bit overwhelming. It was obvious she wanted me to spend the night or two with her in her place.


Crazy idea came to me, I wanted to experience how it is being with woman, especially if she is a sugarmomma. Not the compensation but the excitement of being kissed by woman was intriguing me. I wished the only thing- she was a man, especially since my sugar daddy left me for work in Saudi Arabia.


I wanted someone to take care of me and Rose was so nice to me and called me next day inviting to a pool party. I have to admit she was very strong and possessive woman. All of her friends were nice and friendly to me, but I was feeling the eyes telling “Look what Rose found now. Poor child, she needs some upgrade and furs”. And I really felt like a soaked bird, losing it’s furs.


I suppose I could expect new furs and golden cage. But I realized with the first touch she gave me- not me, but my body reacted and I was covered with goose pumps. I really like men. No I love men and prefer being loved by men only. Another proof that opposites do attract.

What Do Men Want

Have you ever seen a great movie and great play of Mel Gibson in “What do women want”? I ask the same question myself thinking about men. What do they really want? Usually they want things contrary to what they verbalize. It gets harder when they don’t verbalize at all. Would it be right to say you can expect all kinds of surprises from that kind of person. And those surprises are not always a box with beautiful pearls or vacation ticket to Hawaii.

Our relationship was going pretty well when I saw him online, and definitely not working for some charity organization. He was rather looking for someone else. I was mad. He was fooling me for couple of weeks telling he just working and “that” thing is always on. The moment of truth eventually came to our table as well and there was not way for him to come out from it. So he said I was pushing him too much and he still wants to take his time. Then tell me that! Tell me what you want, and our interests might match. Well, if not in everything but in most things it works. I still do not believe that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Men are from Earth and women are from earth too, we even share same DNA, walk on two feet and pretty much look alike.

So what does make us so different? Hormones, society that expects us to behave certain way or politicians? Usually it’s hard to combine everything in one when it comes to the relationships. If your boyfriend is handsome and young, then he is dumb or poor, if rich and smart, then he is old and ugly and many other variations in local stores. So pick whatever you like. But what we, women have to do once we find that all together man to keep him by our side. What do that men want?

Dating A Shorter Guy

Same place where I have met a lot of nice people one day I’m receiving a letter from a man without a picture. Usually if they don’t have pictures there is a note stating a supply of picture via some other resources. He did not mention any of those. I do not consider myself shallow, but I did want to see how he looked like. Week later I saw a picture in his profile. First thing I have noticed was his big nose, and believe it or not I always had a respect for people with big noses. I just have a feeling that an owner of big nose must be a nice person. Two conversations over the phone made me believe in my theory even more. Being an attorney he knew to speak the right thing and was very truthful. The first date we had was a very nice restaurant I liked and he let me pick that. I was never one of those girls who have a list of restaurants they go only and they always want to be the one who picks. I prefer man to take charge in that department.

He arrived earlier or maybe on time, but I was late ( last date I had I was early for twenty minutes and did not know what to do). He was sitting at the table and I went there without him to come and inviting me. We had a wonderful food and conversation went well. Certainly after ten minutes of first glance you know if you would like to have a second date or not. Doubts came to me after we stood up. He was much shorter than me. I got embarrassed as we were walking though the tables. He was very nice and polite and I was concerned about my face, specifically my facial expression. I did not want to hurt the guy and show my embarrassment on my face.

I am 5’6 and his profile details were telling 5’6 as well, so I did not wear heels and still he was much shorter than me. He did not call me, but wrote me a note asking if I want to have another date. Two days later I got sick and when I told him that he asked me if I don’t want to see him again I can tell him that honestly and he will understand. I felt really bad for the guy. I assumed he had that situation before. I don’t know if it is women who feel more secure behind the tall guy or him thinking nobody wants a short guy. While I was sick my ex called me asking for a second chance and since I loved him dearly and missed him a lot, the answer was positive. I don’t know if I was lying to myself or just hoping he had changed but I wanted to love him again forgetting all those short and strange guys. So our first short date was the last date.